MISS RACHEL’S BLOG
April 21, 2020
Hi friends! It has been quite a turbulent year so far, a lot has happened to me and around me but hopefully things will be on the road to a new normal soon. I hope you are weathering the Covid 19 pandemic as best as you can. Know that even if you are isolated or having minimal human connection people still care about you. This too shall pass, hopefully soon, and we can all get back to spanking and being spanked with a new appreciation for those of us that are in the same boat.
For your reading pleasure I have uploaded the Hustler Spanking article which I was featured in here if you would like to read it in it’s entirety for free. Of course if you would like to support Hustler here is a link to the story on their site.
Keep your chin up and your bottoms presented they way you know you should. Hopefully I will see you at TASSP and Shadow Lodge.
Miss Rachel <3
September 28, 2019
Hi fellow spankos! I hope everyone is ready for autumn and the shift from hot to cool weather. I know I am looking forward to some cool days, it sure has been a hot summer here in Austin. As the sizzle of the heat fades and the crazy travel and party schedule winds down it is time for some self reflection and time to start setting goals for the holiday season. One important thing we can remember to do for ourselves is to take care of ourselves before we try to take care of anyone else.
So, for my new blog installment, I thought I would touch on a subject that is very important to me and my self-care: Respect of my time and emotional energy. Being a disciplinarian, I put myself in the position of taking on clients’ problems, and that is my choice to do so. I LOVE what I do and it is very fulfilling to me both physically and emotionally. But as my brain is wired as an introvert (ISTJ) I take things seriously, I need time to recharge, and if I am going to answer someone’s questions, I put time, thought and my expertise into my responses. People matter to me and I want to help but sometimes I find that people don’t respect me, my time, or my business. Shame on you if you do this to me or any other disciplinarian. You put me in a horrible position of either ignoring you or engaging with you when I don’t have the time or inclination to do so.
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy helping others figure out what is going on with them, how to improve their lives with discipline and spanking, and of course being there for them should they need me. However, many people don’t realize that I need time for myself, and that no matter how important or emergent their issues are to them, that doesn’t mean it takes priority in MY life, especially when I am off the clock, or not getting compensated for my services, this includes multiple emails, messages, texts etc.
Let’s face it, I have a life outside of my work and for me to take time away from that it needs to be worth it for ME. Yes, a huge part of that is compensation, I don’t have another job, this is what I do to earn a living and I am very good at what I do. It is insulting to me when people contact me and ask if I will give them a discount because they can’t afford my rate. I would never go to a professional and ask them to reduce their rate. I still have student loans. I have monthly bills. I have two children. I don’t get compensated by insurance or by any other means for providing therapeutic discipline (that would be really awesome if it was covered under insurance!).
I have stated several times that although many people need to be disciplined, when you go to a professional, it is a luxury service. I don’t solicit you to spank you, please remember that. If you come to me know that it is a paid service. If I won a huge lottery it might be a different story, but that is not the case as of today. If you don’t have the funds, I understand, seriously I do. However, there are other alternatives to find someone to spank you. They may not have the education, experience, or tools of the trade but you can always find someone to do it and go pick a switch if necessary. I put a lot of my income back into my business, what I do isn’t free for me either. I travel, buy new implements, and pay entrance fees of events that I attend. Even if I volunteer my time at a party I don’t get any sort of kickbacks from the organizers, I pay my way for everything.
Please keep in mind that I have vanilla friends that need me, family that need me, and animals that need me too. If you want me to push everything to the side and deal with your “emergency” please ask yourself, “did I pay her for her time? Is this so important that it can’t wait until our scheduled session? Can I work this out myself?”
With all of that said, please know I do want to help and I love what I do. I often put in extra (uncompensated) time and effort to make sure my clients are succeeding with their goals or at least figuring out why they aren’t moving forward. I do this because I do care, not because I have to and if you do become a client of mine you will probably see this side of me. I couldn’t fake it if I tried and I’m too set in my ways to have fake relationships. All I ask for is respect from you and you will get nothing less than that from me as well.
So if you do reach out to me please do both of us a favor, only do so if you are serious, if you will be in proximity of me, if you can afford services like these, and don’t expect more than the session time. I don’t have to accept dinner invitations or extracurricular activities outside of our session so if I do, please respect that as well. If you invite me to dinner or lunch and I accept, that means you are paying and be aware I am not a cheap date, I’m sure you wouldn’t expect anything else. 😀
Love, laughs, and spanks
June 30, 2019
Hi there fellow spankos and kinksters. I have had a great year so far, Boardwalk Badness Weekend was so much fun and I got to see so many people that I love. I had the opportunity to meet and play with some cool new spankos and have a photo shoot for a cool project about disciplinarians which can be found here.
My summer season has started off with a bang as I was able to attend my fifth Lone Star Spanking Party in May. The sexy @AuthorJDWebb and I were able to reprise our roles as Principals for the Principal’s Office Event and we had several great scenes with the wonderful @Michael_Stamp . He was in charge of the British Discipline this year and we both got several awesome canings from Mr. Stamp. I sure hope I have the opportunity to do that again! I just got back from The Texas All State Spanking Party last week which was absolutely phenomenal this year. Kelley May and Steve definitely went above and beyond to make this party special. Some of my good friends,
@SassyXOLassy @TheMNMatador @pats_lap @mouthsmacker @hugs4spanks @minxuntamed @ChicagoStyleAJ @ReynaStClair23 @AliKaySwitch @KadyRyan1 @TheMysteryBrat threw me an awesome surprise birthday party. Thanks y’all!
For this edition of my blog I have decided to talk about something really important for all of us in the spanko community: consent. We talk about it all the time but do we really understand what it means? Yes, we all know that consent is a fundamental part of spanking play and shouldn’t happen without it. It is what my business is based upon, it is a necessary function of communication in our kink world. Consent covers many areas in kink, such as negotiation of implements and amount of force used during play. Consent also means that we are allowing someone to come into our lives and fill a void that we have, yet also understand the limitations of that role. Before I session with someone I, of course, discuss all of these things but understand that there is also something called “implied consent” based on what my client is looking for from a disciplinarian. Because someone is initially implying consent just by booking a session with me doesn’t mean I have free reign to do whatever I choose to do. And I have my limits as well that must be respected and just because someone is looking for something from a disciplinarian or life coach, doesn’t mean that I am willing to do what they are asking. Which brings me to the first factor in determining consent: communication.
Communication may seem like a no-brainer to most of us. We let our needs be known by talking to the person we are seeking to help get from. This usually starts by an introductory email or message from someone asking if I can help. I consider myself a helping person by nature but there are limitations on what I know I can do. I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses are and I know what my hard limits are. I try to make these known on my website and through email communication so that time won’t be wasted on either end. So, when reaching out in the spanko community, whether it is to hire a professional or play with someone new, make sure that you communicate your wants and needs clearly and effectively. To do that there are several things to think about:
- Does this person offer what I am seeking? If you find someone that may seem visually appealing but states firmly that they don’t offer the sort of services that you are looking for, do not try to convince them to do so. It is not only rude and inconsiderate to ask someone to let you slide on their hard limits, it is also narcissistic and egotistical to think that your circumstances trump their personal beliefs. If someone says no to something that you want, let that be the end of that conversation. If it is a deal breaker, move on, there is most likely someone who will do what you want. Be polite with those who take the time to answer your questions honestly. There is no need to be rude. I find that I would much rather have a client that is happy with what services I provide than have one that is dissatisfied that I didn’t do something that I clearly stated I would not do but they thought they could change my mind. People that are limit pushers are bad news, they don’t respect providers and can easily be blacklisted. So just communicate your needs from jump and everyone will be better off.
- If there are implements that elicit a negative emotional response from you or trigger you to feel a way that you don’t want to feel, speak up. I want to know if I am in any physical or emotional danger and that is why I ask if my implements are okay for use during the session. People that say, “I don’t want to have any control over the session, I want you to be in complete charge” need to realize that providers have to do their due diligence to ensure their own safety as well as that of the client.
- If you have goals you’d like to achieve or need motivation to get you moving in the right direction, let your provider know what that is BEFORE a session. I cannot prepare for what I don’t know is coming. I do have a background in social work which encompasses everything from mental health to advocacy to social justice but I do like being as well prepared for a session as possible. This benefits you as well as it does me and makes for a better session. All providers do not come from the same background and I suggest you find out if the person you are sessioning with can truly help you accomplish what you are wanting to do. From role play to goal setting we all have different approaches and different methods to get you there. One is not necessarily better than the other but you might find a better fit if you ask the right questions. If a provider doesn’t want to answer your questions you may want to rethink seeing them. I know I wouldn’t spend money on someone who couldn’t be bothered with important questions. With that said, a lot of us have some general questions answered on our websites and in our introductory emails that you should read prior to asking questions. If you ask a question that has already been answered we may see that as laziness on your part.
- Safewords are a necessity in the scene and important in determining consent. I ask all of my clients if they want to use safewords. I think it is dangerous and bad practice to deny the use of safewords in a physical session. I have heard of some disciplinarians who have stated they don’t allow them because it isn’t a “real punishment” if they are allowed. Let’s be honest folks, all of this is unrealistic in the sense that we wouldn’t be spanking strangers in the real world just because they acted up. You are paying the professional to do this. Even if the client says they don’t want a safe word, I always state that is fine but the universal yellow for slow down and red for stop immediately no questions asked will be honored if they do decide to use them. Contingency plans in place are a good practice that well-prepared people do because the situations can get out of hand quickly. If you see someone that refuses to let you end the play and you are scared to do it again, what has really been accomplished?
Another important factor in consent is assumptions. Have you heard the adage “to assume makes an ass out of you and me”? Well folks, that has some truth to it. If you want my help for one aspect of your life does that mean you want it in every aspect? I don’t assume that and I think it is quite presumptuous to think that I would want that task or to think you would want me to try to commandeer your life in that way. Have you ever had a play partner that tried to tell you what to do and you were just looking to have fun? They are just “looking out for you” but treat you like you have no common sense? That to me is a consent violation. Unless someone specifically asks you to help them or be a certain role, don’t just step in and think you know better. I see this a lot with men that think that younger submissive women don’t know what is best. Guess what? They usually do know what they are looking for and don’t need input from someone who is simply a different gender, is older, or has more education. It is sickening to see submissive people stifled because a domineering person thinks they know best and has all the answers. Consent for not only play but for emotional help should be mandatory on both ends.
So, in conclusion, I hope that you find what you need in someone who will listen and help you achieve whatever end game you are looking for from a disciplinary session. Communication is key and consent is necessary on both ends of the punishment spectrum. Do your homework and don’t assume that people understand your needs if you don’t express them clearly. Most of all, don’t stop looking if you don’t find what you are seeking immediately.
Have a great Independence Day and rest of the summer. I am off to Key West in a week and a half and my summer will conclude in Las Vegas at the Shadow Lane Labor Day Weekend party. I hope to see you there.
~Miss Rachel 😊
April 14, 2019
Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy St Patrick’s Day, Happy Easter…
So, as you may have gathered, it has been a while since my last entry. I hope that time has been good to you, a lot has happened in my world since my last entry.
I rounded out August and early September of 2018 with my second Shadow Lane party. I had so much fun, when I was awake. I slept every chance possible, and maybe it wasn’t the best time to try to cash in my sleep debt, but I really needed it. My sexy partner @AuthorJDWebb was there with me and we had a lot of fun. I love that there is such a laid back, relaxed vibe at this party. I certainly took that attitude and partied a little, sessioned a little, ate a lot and slept a lot. During the party, I had the opportunity to sell some of my ass whoopers at the vendors fair and hopefully will have some to sell again this year.😊 Later in September @TheMNMatador and I went to Napa Valley and had a blast touring wineries and riding the wine train. We enjoyed the harvest season by sampling many different wonderful wines. I am a red wine lover and it was something I have always wanted to do and I am so thankful I had the chance to go. The climate there is Mediterranean-esque and made for such great weather for touring the wineries. Cakebread and Opus were some of my favorite wineries and the The V. Sattui and Mondavi grounds were exceptional.
In October I was able to attend my first Crimson Moon party, I met a lot of wonderful people, including @ChicagoStyleAJ. My partner in crime, @AuthorJDWebb was not there, unfortunately, and he was unable to witness the cookie throwing incident at the banquet with Miss Cassidy Lau (@SassyXOLassy). I had to drag her by the ear to the ladies restroom and punish her for throwing cookie chunks down the front of my dress. She deserved it and I loved giving it to her. I went to dinner with @TheMNMatador at an Italian restaurant called Fire and Wine, where we had a fun evening and ended up inviting the manager to come get a spanking. She texted me and even came to the hotel bar, but I had fallen asleep so it didn’t happen. Hopefully I can reconnect with her this year. I also had the chance to have a nice conversation with BenMan, who unfortunately passed this March. I am so thankful I had the chance to get to know him a little better (we had messaged on FetLife a few times), I am sure we would have been great friends if we had more time. It was a great lesson to remind those that you love and care for that you do, you never know when they will be gone and you will lose that opportunity.
After Crimson Moon I did a mini vacation with @pats_lap to Scottsdale, AZ and stayed at the Arizona Biltmore Resort for four days. The weather was nice and sunny and a good escape from the miserable Austin weather at the time. We chilled and went to the pool, people watched, drank banana daiquiris with 151 floaters and ate great food at the resort.
In late November I went to Playa del Carmen Mexico, once again with @pats_lap. I have always wanted to go to an adult only, all-inclusive resort and finally had the chance. The weather was a balmy 85ish the whole time we were there and there were plenty of bootays on display at the pool. I definitely took advantage of the free food and drinks (I was very gluttonous) but we realized the alcohol was very watered down and there are NO STRAWS on the property where we stayed. We decided to that alcohol should be purchased at the Duty-Free shop at the airport and I have already purchased aluminum straws in anticipation of my next visit.
In December I traveled to Seattle to see my dear friend Cassy (@SassyXOLassy) along with @TheMNMatador and saw a Seahawks /Vikings game. We went to Pikes Market and we also explored the Chihuly exhibit where I got to see gorgeous blown glass sculptures and the space needle up close. We had a spanking party at our Air BNB and the lovely @JennOTK and @IMLX attended among others. I had a wonderful opportunity to spank @ibcece yet again and you can see the grin of satisfaction I had giving her a thorough spanking. 😀 I really enjoyed my time there and hope to go back soon and see Cassy and all of the wonderful locals.
I had a great Christmas this year. I decided not to travel and stay at home with family. I got my children almost everything they wanted and gifted myself an apple watch that I have wanted for a while 😊. Unfortunately, I lost another cat to old age. Chloe was a good boy and I had him since his birth in 2003. He always had health issues and we knew the end was coming but it still isn’t easy losing a furbaby.
Cassidy Lau (@SassyXOLassy) and the @TheMNMatador came to Austin in January and as it was Cassy’s first time in Austin, we had to make sure that she and @TheMNMatador went to the Salt Lick to sample some delicious Texas BBQ. We also took advantage of the fact that in Austin (and TX) we have some awesome local area spankos and extraordinary cool Texans who don’t mind a drive for a good spanking so we hosted an incredible intimate spanking party. Of course my sexy boyfriend @AuthorJDWebb was by my side, the beautiful @KadyRyan made her spanking party debut, @EnforcerTX came down for the party, the lovely @piper_ren and @DashJayCee came too (love them!), as did @arialennox, and @MrRedHot1, who made me an awesome spoon implement with my name carved into the side. The party wouldn’t have been complete without @pats_lap, @naughtyney and her Mommy Alex who attended as well as Jenna Lou, @ReynaStClair23, and@AliKaySwitch. Before and after the party, Cassy and I took advantage of her time in Austin and made a few videos and one where she is a subordinate of mine on the SWAT team and had to be reprimanded. Look for it soon (hopefully on clips4sale) and support our work.
In mid January I went to Austria and Italy with Joe Freckles, it was absolutely breathtaking. I took my first helicopter flight and saw the Danube River and also saw an opera in Vienna, traveled to beautiful Lake Como, took a tour of Doges Palace in Venice, saw Michelangelo’s David sculpture in Florence, took two winery tours in the Chianti region, visited the Coliseum in Rome, toured the Vatican Palace in Vatican City, had a coffee at the oldest coffee bar in Naples and saw the fascinating remains of Pompeii. I did many things and had a fantastic vacation. I definitely enjoyed the food (I love Italian cuisine) and gorgeous scenery. I really hope to make it back to Italy and more places in Europe soon.
February brought more travel as I went on a mini west coast tour with @AuthorJDWebb, we went to Portland, Los Angeles, Las Vegas where I attended a great spanking party and saw Cassy @SassyXOLassy, @minxuntamed, and @TheMNMatador, and ended in Phoenix where I had a wonderful session with @NMSpanko.
In March I went to Gatlinburg for the first time and back to the Midland/Odessa area where I went to another gun show with Joe Freckles. The day after I got back from Midland, I was in a car accident and totaled my 17-year-old daughter’s car. I rear ended someone on one of Austin’s horrible freeways, MoPac. If you have ever driven here you may understand. My daughter was devastated but thankfully is getting a car a year newer with fewer miles so it ended up working out. I was hit pretty hard with the airbag and suffered some whiplash. I am still having some neck pain but over all I am fine. I ended the week of my accident by attending another local Austin party hosted by @MrRedHot1. My good friend @TheMNMatador came down and my sweet friend @KadyRyan came to town as well to attend the party. @AuthorJDWebb and I double spanked @KadyRyan and @ReynaStClair23 while @TheMNMatador and I got to spank and cane @Dd4life89 and can’t wait to cane her again!
It’s now mid-April and I am preparing to go to Las Vegas with Cassidy Lau (@SassyXOLassy), where I want to take her to Hoffbrau Haus and make sure she gets a good public spanking. At the end of the month I will be going to Atlantic City for the first time for Boardwalk Badness Weekend (BBW) with @AuthorJDWebb and plan to have a fantastic time. I still have some limited availability for BBW if you would like to book a session with me.
Look for me at the Lone Star Spanking Party (LSSP) in Houston this May, I am going to be reprising my role as principal as @AuthorJDWebb and I do the principal’s office event again this year. Lily040 will be the office assistant and is sure to be in trouble once again. I will be at TASSP again in June (right before my birthday) so book a session with me there and help me ring in my 45th year. For the remainder of the summer I have a trip to Key West with @pats_lap planned and will return to Las Vegas for Shadow Lane in August. I am pre-booking sessions for all the parties and will also go to Crimson Moon again this October.
Well that about does it for me for now, I hope all of you are well and hope to see many of you soon!
August 12, 2018
Hi fellow spankos! I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer, mine sure has been busy. Since my last blog entry, I traveled to Chicago with @pats_lap where we enjoyed several awesome steak dinners, took in a Cubs game, and wandered around the Art Institute of Chicago and saw a plethora of beautiful impressionistic art and some cool modern art as well. We also took the time to celebrate my 44th birthday and had a yummy bottle of Dom Perignon.
I also traveled to Dallas for The Texas All State Spanking Party (TAASP) at the end of June and had a great time sessioning with clients and hanging out with friends. I had a phenomenal time having private play with Cassidy Lau, Reyna St Clair, and of course JD Webb. More fun was had at TASSP with the M/M spanking event, I sure hope to catch that again, I have never laughed so hard.
I ended the month of June by catching a Hall and Oates concert in New Orleans with my sister and celebrating our birthday together with family in Biloxi. I was then off to Florida to spend the 4th of July with my parents, I haven’t seen them since last Christmas so it was nice to catch up. I bought some of the “good fireworks” in Alabama and we had quite the fireworks display in my parent’s backyard. My children stayed in Florida while I headed up to Minnesota to spend time with my friend @TheMNMatador. We went to Ontario (my first time in Canada) and visited Kakabeka Falls Park, which was so beautiful. We also toured Fort William and got to see what life was like in 1816 at a Fur Trader camp. After a short stay in Canada we headed back to the states. In Grand Marais, MN we found some wonderful walking sticks that I saw and immediately thought CANE!!!! I love these Aspen Wood canes so much that I am going to be selling them on my website as well as at Shadow Lane in Las Vegas. Since they are not exactly like getting a traditional rattan caning, I am dubbing them “Asp Whoopers” and compare them to a more rigid type of caning rather than having the give and flexibility of rattan. Be on the lookout for them, they are awesome and leave fantastic lines. They hurt so good 😊
I wrapped up my time in Minnesota and Canada with a Toby Keith concert and then I traveled back to Biloxi for a limited spanking engagement. I was fortunate enough to see two new clients and one old one that I consider a friend. He has a very traditional spanking fetish (domestic implements and otk only) with a shoe fetish modifier. He loves toe cleavage! I am blessed to have pretty nice feet so I don’t mind showing them off. After my brief stay in Biloxi I headed back to Florida to pick up the kids and finally made it back to Austin. It was nice to get back home and get back on schedule with my regulars.
I ended July with a fantastic interview with Madame Samantha B. It was so fun to talk to her about how I got my start, what my sessions are like, and what I believe spanking should be all about. If you didn’t catch it live, it will be available for free starting on August 17th on her YouTube channel. Look here for the interview. Please take a moment and check it out if you are thinking about sessioning with me. I think it may answer some questions you may have about my philosophy and methods and give you a little bit of insight about me as a disciplinarian.
So here we are in August, finally. I began the month with a mini vacation to Odessa. I have a great friend that lives near there who wanted to spend some time with me and give me an opportunity to let my hair down. We went to a gun show where I was gifted the 9mm of my dreams, a Sig Sauer P320 X carry. I am so excited to be able to take this to the range and hone my shooting skills. I am a firm believer in smart gun ownership and think that those of us that choose to arm ourselves should be well educated in how to handle and fire them.
After the gun show we ate dinner at a Japanese steakhouse and I tried sushi for the first time, a Philadelphia roll, and I actually liked it (I am not a big seafood eater AT ALL). All in all, I had a relaxing time and was grateful that I have friends that want me to take time for myself and relax. It doesn’t ALWAYS have to be about spanking.
The end of August will bring the return of Shadow Lane in Las Vegas. I am excited to go again this year and see many old friends and share the experience with my sexy and talented boyfriend and spanking partner extraordinaire, @AuthorJDWebb. We will once again be playing with the beautiful Cassidy Lau and be looking to perhaps discipline some naughty girls together at the suite parties.
After Shadow Lane I will be travelling to San Francisco with @TheMNMatador where we will be exploring the city and catching a wine train to indulge our pallets with oodles of red wine. I will be ending September with a short trip to Dallas on the 28-30th where I get the chance to catch up with wonderful Dallas peeps and meet some new people as well. I will be back in Dallas on October 25-26th so if you are in the area and want a session with me, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for availability.
I have some more travel scheduled for the end of the year and a tentative date for Los Angeles in partnership with Cassidy Lau. We have to firm it up but we will announce it on Twitter and I will add it to my dates and locations page when it is confirmed (we are thinking the first week of October).
Don’t forget to book me for Shadow Lane August 29-September 4th in LasVegas. I will also be back in Chicago in October (11-14) for the Crimson Moon party. I will end the year with two final trips, first at an all inclusive in Playa del Carmen, Mexico and finally, my last trip of the year will be to Seattle with @TheMNMatador where will will catch a Vikings/Seahawks game and catch up with Cassidy in her hometown.
Don’t forget that I am available for Austin sessions throughout the rest of the year so if you plan to be in town, make sure you save some time for a session with your favorite Austin disciplinarian. 😉
Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @p_spanking and spankingtube user, fair_enough.
Miss Rachel 😊
May 28, 2018
Welcome back to my blog, Lone Star Spanking Party edition. This month I decided to just do an overview of my experience at LSSP since most of my month revolved around the party in one way or the other. LSSP holds a special place in my heart because it was the first national party I ever attended, which was at their inaugural party in 2015. Proudly, I have been to every one since. I look forward to it every year and always have a great time. This year was no different. What an awesome experience! Thank you to Sarah Gregory, John Osborne (AAA) and Tubaman (Paul) for putting it all together and making it even better! I can say that the party has evolved into a well oiled machine and this year it ran its smoothest yet, especially considering that they were accommodating more spankos than ever. For more information about the party, you can visit their website at www.lonestarspankingparty.com.
I arrived in Houston on Wednesday, the day before the official kick off of the party and found many attendees were there early as well. I had a great steak dinner with my good friend @TheMNMatador and was ready for my first appointment Thursday morning. I had several fun appointments, one as a no-nonsense paralegal that believes the boss may need a spanking too every now and again. My lovely partner, @AuthorJDWebb, arrived Thursday evening and we attended the meet and greet pizza party and ended up having a much-needed, low-key evening… hello Forensic Files and tawny port!
One of the reasons I really like going to national parties is because I have the chance to reconnect with old friends and meet new ones. I was able to meet several new friends that I made through twitter, @hugs4spanks, @thewittyginger, and @JonWelts to name a few. It is always fun to put a face to a name or persona that I have encountered through Twitter (my handle is @p_spanking) or Fetlife (https://fetlife.com/users/5617332) and then have the opportunity to talk them IRL. Several Twitter friends attended events with me and even let me discipline them, muahahaha! The beautiful @thewittyginger and I even decided to have a joint private session at TASSP next month where I get to spank her and naughty boy James. I am really looking forward to that scene!
Friday I was busy with appointments during the day and enjoyed the suite parties in the evening, thank you @naughtyney and the ARBC https://fetlife.com/groups/155974 for hosting one for Austin locals, and making sure everyone was welcome. The hospitality suite was also hopping and I had the chance to have a mini session with the LSSP Party hostess, @MadameSamanthaB and I received the most delightful flogging. She specializes in female only, sensual sessions and is based in Las Vegas, NV. Ladies if you are ever in Las Vegas you should schedule a session with her, she is indescribably wonderful. @MadameSamanthaB has a YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrFdRmGdKJnBtqofRnyZvdA and does monthly interviews. We are in the process of setting up me as the July guest, so stay tuned for that!
Saturday was jam packed with events. I had a phenomenal time heading up the Principal’s Office with the wonderful @AuthorJDWebb. Our school secretary, Lily040 started out the event by showing up tardy and was punished in front of all of the waiting naughty students (and anyone else out in the hallway). We decided to show students that we meant business from the start of the event. The feedback that I received was that I was “terrifying” and had many waiting students shaking in their boots. While Mr. Webb’s admonishments had a stern tone, he offered a gentler approach to scolding than I did and I think we struck a good balance together. His administration of corporal punishment was no less severe than what students received from me, and almost everyone left with a feeling of repentance. There were a select few that will be revisited at the Texas All State Spanking Party in June to atone for their disrespectful attitude. After the school event we went to the Spanky Hawkins and Naughty Boys party before heading out to dinner. Unfortunately, I missed the ceremony where my “Best New Female Spanker” certificate was awarded, but Sarah Gregory made sure that I received it. Thank you to Sarah Gregory and www.spankingblogg.com for the recognition.
My time at LSSP was filled with many private sessions with old clients and new ones. @pat_slap and @SassyXOLassy and I had a fun session together with new implements, awesome claw gloves, and sweet champagne. I also had several role play scenarios that ran the gamut from catching a peeping Tom in my room to being a teacher punishing a cheating student. I also had several sessions with couples and I have to say I love the dynamic of sharing the disciplinarian duties with someone that knows the bottom well. Nothing makes for a better session than real life situations (sometimes slightly embellished) that require punishment. So, if you have a partner that you would like to share the experience with, know that is something that I offer.
Sunday was a bit hectic for me as I had decided to check out of the hotel that morning but had plans at the party that ran into the evening. I made it work but was a bit stressed from the added hassle of moving all of my things from my room to my car. I had the most fun ever two-hour session where I punished @naughtyney and her trouble making classmate, Jim. Then it was on to filming for www.mommaspankings.com with Reyna McKenzie and Adriana Evans, and last but not least, a final hour session and dinner with @TheMNMatador before I hit the road home.
I enjoyed it so much this year and would encourage those of you that may feel uncomfortable about being “public” with your inner spanko that you will be surrounded by the most understanding, nonjudgmental people that you will ever meet and will have a wonderful time. You know when you leave a party (as a top) and your hand is bruised and your arm is about to fall off, you had a good time.
June is bound to be a good month for me. I am off to Chicago on the 7th and then to my second Texas All State Spanking Party (TASSP) on the 21st. On June 25th I will be ringing in my 44th year by spanking bottoms the way mine was probably spanked when I entered this world. Hmmmm, I wonder if that’s when the seed was planted…
~Miss Rachel 😊
March 18, 2018
Hi to all of my spanko friends! I hope that this year has been treating you well. I sure have been busy this year and don’t see any signs of slowing down soon. Since my last post I have returned from my awesome trip to Paris and London with @pat_slap. We had a cold but wonderful time soaking up the art, culture, food, and wine. We had a few spanking adventures, one involving a hairbrush that came out at the most inconvenient places. We saw a show filled with beautiful French girls at the Moulin Rouge, impressionistic art at the Musee d’Orsay, confessional booths at Notre Dame, royal living at Versailles and even had a Royale with Cheese at Mickey D’s (it was late and the only place open). In London we dined at Oblix at The Shard, visited Windsor Castle and Westminster Abby, toured the Thames on a river cruise and walked across London Bridge. I had so much fun in Europe and hope to go back and visit more countries. Italy, you’re high on the list (I love Italian food and wine).
Currently, I am gearing up for a busy spring and summer and can’t wait for my adventures ahead. I am traveling to Minnesota again tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing my dear friend and fellow spanko @TheMNMatador and spending some more time in the snow. He will be attending the Lone Star Spanking Party in May and I look forward to seeing him and many other friends again at this phenomenal event. My spanking partner @AuthorJDWebb will be accompanying me and we will be available for private double sessions with the ladies. Trust me, you will want to experience his magic hands <3. I will also be attending The Texas All State Spanking Party in June in Dallas, Shadow Lane in Las Vegas in September, and Crimson Moon in Chicago in October. I have limited slots at parties, so if you would like to book a private session with me at any of these events, please contact me at email@example.com for session information and availability. I will also be in Las Vegas April 1-4 and am available for sessions.
So, I thought I would bring up a topic of relevance since we are entering party season, which is that of impaired judgement and spanking. A good friend of mine recently asked me about consent when one is impaired, and my advice is, if you are spanking someone who you think may be drunk, high or otherwise impaired, DON’T! If someone isn’t fully cognizant of what is going on, they may not realize that they have reached their limit, they may ask for more when they wouldn’t otherwise want it, and they may regret what happened and blame you for it. It just isn’t worth it. If you even suspect someone has impaired judgement it is best to politely decline the play and move along, no matter how tempting the bottom. I know that it doesn’t feel right if you have participated with someone in an altered state and let’s face it, we are using implements that can inflict serious damage if we put our minds to it. Please keep in mind that it is very rude and disrespectful to party organizers, who have invested their own time and money planning the event, to show up shitfaced. So, let’s all play safe and have fun. I hope to see you soon. Be sure to follow me on twitter @p_spanking friend me on Fetlife https://fetlife.com/users/5617332 🙂
January 21, 2018
Happy New Year!
Hello fellow spankos! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are ready to get down to business in 2018. Since my last posting I have traveled to Portland, OR and met up with the beautiful and talented Cassidy Lau, (@SassyXOLassy on Twitter), and to Fairbanks, MN where I attempted to ski, walked on a frozen lake, and went for an enjoyable dog sled ride. Of course, there were many spankings on both trips and I had a fantastic time in each city. I also went home to Florida for Christmas and saw my family, it was really nice to see them after so long. We made a pact not to bring up politics so I had a relaxing Christmas and got to catch up on some much-needed sleep. I made it back to Austin at the end of December and rang the New Year in by watching movies at home and falling asleep five minutes before midnight.
In late December I was delighted to be nominated for “Best New Female Spanker” award by Spankingblogg.com for the videos I did for Sarah Gregory’s mommaspankings.com. The voting was tight as there were very talented women who were up for the award. They are all awesome spankers and I was very humbled to be nominated alongside them. Needless to say, I was totally shocked to find out that I won yesterday. I want to thank everyone who voted for me and know that it means the world to me that I am recognized by such a wonderful group of people. Also, I would like to congratulate Cassidy Lau for winning “Best New Spankee Newcomer.” I hope I get to film with her in the future because we have so much fun together when we play. I am looking forward to doing more videos with Sarah Gregory so be on the look out for some new material this year featuring yours truly.
As for what is on my agenda in the near future, my passport has finally arrived and I will be off to Paris and London next month! I can’t wait to meet some international spankos as well as take in the culture of these two amazing cities. I have a lot of landmarks, museums, and points of interest that are on my itineraries for both cities. I am especially excited to have recently added a trip to the Moulin Rouge to my Paris trip. I will be going with a dear friend and fellow spanko who has made this trip a reality for me, thank you @pats_lap, I know that we will have a blast.
Finally, party season will be heating up soon and I am super excited! I haven’t been to a national party since Shadow Lane in September and I am chomping at the bit. I have already registered for the Lone Star Spanking Party in May that takes place in Houston. If you haven’t decided if you should go, take my word for it and GO. You will see the best the spanking world has to offer at this event. Not to be missed! Click here Lone Star Party and register. I am arriving the Wednesday before the party begins and will set some time aside for private sessions throughout the weekend. Keep in mind that those slots are limited as I will be participating in many of the events as well. If you want to guarantee that you will get a spanking from me please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for my availability. I also plan on attending TASSP, Shadow Lane and possibly Crimson Moon this year. To keep up on my travel schedule please check my dates and locations tab.
This year I am looking forward to meeting new twitter and Fetlife friends, reconnecting with old friends, and meeting new people. I have added a few more implements to the arsenal and have more to come from sensualpaddles.com , thanks Bill (he will be vending at Lone Star too). I have a feeling 2018 is going to be a great year.
OCTOBER BLOG BONUS SUPPLEMENT
October 24, 2017
Want to get to know your disciplinarian better? Aside from the content on my website about my thoughts on spanking, I did an interview with Andy Cano last year for his blog page someonesgonnagetit.wordpress.com that delved a little bit more into my personal thoughts on spanking. It’s been a year so I thought what better time than now than to follow up with that interview. My life is constantly evolving as is my practice, but the copy that has been on my website from day one is still the foundation of how I view spanking and discipline. Along with that material, these questions and answers may help you determine if I am the right fit for you. I’m not for everyone and I would rather you know before you book a session with me if we aren’t compatible. I am helping you do your due diligence in finding the best disciplinarian for you. If you are seeing another professional and don’t know their motivations and philosophy for spanking, perhaps you should ask. Below are some of the inquiries that I often get.
What is it really like being a professional disciplinarian?
I get to meet with like-minded people at every session. I can be me without any pretense or bullshit. When Miss Rachel shows up, it is the same Rachel that is at the coffee shop on the weekend or the same Rachel that is sitting at home on the computer. This resting bitch face (RBF) is real. I am an introvert and need time to unplug and unwind but this isn’t an act. Even in role play scenarios I try to pull from real life or fantasies that mean something to me. Authenticity is key. If I am fake you are going to know it so I just don’t operate that way. I am girly, I love buying new clothes, preparing for a session, getting on the right outfit and looking my best for the client. I put time in effort into how I look because I want my clients to know that I care, I am not phoning it in. I love what I do, not just punishing or disciplining those that deserve, need, and crave it, but I love the interaction with people that are being their true selves. It is very intoxicating and often leaves me wanting to know more about my client. I often have a sense of feeling refreshed even after an exhausting physical session from being in such a raw, personal space with a vulnerable person who trusts me implicitly. So basically, it’s awesome!
Do your friends know?
Since I did my first interview with Andy Cano, I have told several more people, some were college friends while others were new friends and acquaintances. I never have the intention of scaring people off or putting strangers ill at ease but I really, REALLY, love what I do and have no shame in my profession.
Does your family know?
My husband and children (16, and 13.5) all know what I do. My husband has known from the start and fully supports my work and any venture that I attempt. When I started my business, I originally told my children that I was an adult behavioral therapist. I didn’t find this to be a lie but it was more of a half-truth and so about six months ago I decided I didn’t want to hide my profession from my children. I state on my website that I want to destigmatize spanking and really, fetishes in general. So, I thought about it and decided to have transparency with my children. I also took into careful consideration that they were old enough and mentally mature enough to deal with the truth. They know I have never spanked them, and they also know I was spanked as a child. They don’t understand the need, but that’s okay. They know if they have questions I will answer them honestly and trust me, my kids are not afraid to ask! I think that letting them know that people need this in their lives and there isn’t anything wrong with it is one way I can help in teaching younger generations that everyone is different and that fetishes aren’t like Fifty Shades of Grey. If one can be free to be their true self, what better lesson can be taught?
Do you talk about it in vanilla company?
Yes and no. If I am with vanilla friends or meet new people that I am unsure about I generally stick with the behavioral therapist version of what I do. I don’t broadcast that I am a spanko or wear a badge that I am a professional disciplinarian. Most people just don’t do that anyway so why do I have to? However, when I am approached by someone and they flat out ask me what I do, I usually will tell them. Most people don’t know what a disciplinarian is and I have to explain. So sometimes, I make my decision on whether or not I have the time or inclination to explain. I don’t make apologies and I don’t feel the need to justify it, it is what it is, I do what I do, and I thoroughly LOVE it. Once a gentleman asked me at a Starbucks what I did for a living (as he was hitting on me) so I just gave him one of my business cards. I told him to look up my website because I didn’t feel like going into detail at Starbucks. He actually did call me and ask some questions but it ended with that. Not everyone is a spanko, that is their loss. The best I can hope for is an open mind, and I am helping keep Austin weird. 😉
How are sessions when you meet with strangers?
Meeting new clients can be nerve wracking if there isn’t the proper groundwork laid. Luckily, I have had very open and honest communication with clients in the email, phone, twitter, or FetLlife correspondence before a session so my anxiety is usually very low. However, I am always cautious and I always have security figured out and a contingency plan.
Do your sessions ever get sexual?
I have had clients that have been sexually aroused by spankings and I ignore it. I do not permit grinding on me and will end a session immediately if someone should attempt it. Thankfully, due to my vetting process, every single client I have ever met with has been respectful to me regarding this issue. I make it known prior to sessions that all of my appointments are non-sexual and punishment/discipline focused only. If you are looking for something else please find someone else. I don’t judge other women that do get sexual in sessions but I don’t believe that a true disciplinarian should. This includes supervised release. If you want to release yourself, do it after I leave or when you go home. I have absolutely no desire to see this nor do I want to hear about personal sexual encounters or fantasies. I treat my clients with respect and expect to be treated with nothing less. Would you pleasure yourself in front of your mother, teacher, principal, or other authoritative figure? I would certainly hope not.
What is the weirdest thing that has ever happened?
Once I was stung by a wasp right before a session started. I was really thrown for a loop because I had a horrible wasp incident when I was four. I was stung by a swarm of wasps on a swing set and I can only remember thinking I was going to die. Somehow, I kept it together and didn’t go into shock.
Do you prefer spanking one gender over the other?
I love spanking both men and women, equally but in different way. I enjoy being tougher on the guys. Don’t get me wrong, I can be very harsh with women too if that is what they need. I guess the force that I have with men lets them know that yes, I am in charge, and no, you aren’t getting away with a light swat on the bottom from me! My mom spanked me as a kid and it was almost laughable. I am not my mother!!!! I have a very heavy hand, and if my strength could keep up with my will I would hand spank eight hours a day. With women, I prefer to have therapeutic sessions. I personally get more out of a therapeutic session because I always learn something new about myself when trying to help my client figure out their goals, motivations, and deterrents to success. Women tend to be better listeners and if they are coming to me they really want change. That also motivates me to want to do better. I like spanking both genders but I get something different out of each experience.
What is your favorite type of session?
Therapeutic sessions where the client really is seeking change and is motivated to do it with encouragement from me are awesome. I really feel honored when people want me to help them understand themselves better. But I also like straight spankings and just having conversation while spanking. I love straight shooting with people and I feel very confident I am having an honest conversation when the spankee is over my knee.
What is your favorite role play?
I do love role play sessions and my favorite role is either Head Mistress or Strict Aunt. The best role play sessions I have had have been where the client gives me a lot of details from an almost true fantasy or embellishment on a real-life circumstance. I have to have adequate time to mentally prepare for role play sessions and the spur of the moment ones just aren’t as good. If you want a role play session with me, please do both of us a favor and give me details of what you would like to have happen and maybe some background as to why. The “why” can make all the difference in the world.
Aside from the financial aspect, what do you get out of a session?
I love being able to connect with people that have sometimes not felt like they fit in, have not known how to deal with their spanking fetish, and haven’t had anyone to talk to. I am a social worker and have always liked helping people. Helping people work through problems or being that sympathetic ear is fulfilling to me. Sometimes people just need to be heard. I listen. It may sound silly but active listening is a skill, and I do it well.
Do you really feel like you are helping people?
I do, and that is why I continue to do this and love it. I know that I have helped people whether it be directly or indirectly. I also know that I will do whatever I can to help a client in the vanilla world should my client ask. I am not just your neighborhood disciplinarian, I am also a mom and have nurturing instincts that everyone is susceptible to.
How long do you see yourself doing this professionally?
I can see myself doing this as long as I continue to feel good about what I do and I am able to financially. I know that if I won the lottery I would still be spanking on some level. It is just in my blood. I feel unsatisfied if I can’t participate in MY spanking fetish.
What are some of the best experiences that you have had doing this?
I have met some wonderful people that I don’t know if I would have met otherwise. I have made some lasting friendships and I have traveled to new places, with more travel on the horizon. I have dined at nice restaurants, and shared wine and conversation with some very interesting people. I also have gone to shooting ranges with a couple of clients and I really love doing that. I love being able to me with people I care for and respect.
Will you switch with clients?
As a general rule, no. I just don’t feel comfortable doing it and I have a spanking partner who I go to for that. He knows exactly what I like and what I need. Sometimes I switch at parties though, so your best shot at spanking me would be at an event at a party.
How are the parties? Which ones have you been to and/or will be back to?
I love going to local and national parties. I have been to all three of the Lone Star Spanking Parties, one Texas All State, and this year I went to Shadow Lane. I will definitely go back to all of them and I hope to make the October Crimson Moon next year. I love to make new friends and see old friends at the parties. I also love to meet the online friends that I have made through FetLife and Twitter in person. That is always fun. Also, my spanking partner and I love to co-top the ladies if we get a chance. 😉
Shhhh…. I’m really not very scary. Don’t tell anybody.
October 17, 2017
Hello there fellow spankos! I hope all is well with you in your world. Since my last post I have had time to rest and take it easy a while. As many of you have seen on Twitter, my dog Molly was nearing the end of her long life and sadly, she passed on Sunday. It is hard to let go of such a dear soul that has been a part of my life for such a long time, she has weathered many storms with me and was a sweet girl and great companion. I am so thankful that I had some quality time to spend with her at the end. She needed that and so did I. I know that having feelings and compassion is something that some disciplinarians can hide very well with clients. I guess I can too, however, I am a sap when it comes to animals.
In happier news, I recently celebrated a year long friendship with a dear client who has become a close friend. He spoiled me very nicely with a wonderful dinner and drinks and we had a fun spanking session afterward. He has grown to be a great friend to me as several clients have. I know that not everyone is looking for this with their disciplinarian and frankly, neither am I. However, when I click with someone mentally and we are both open to a friendship it is quite wonderful when it happens. So, thank you to the few that have become personal friends, you know who you are.
Today also marks the day that I met a very special person three years ago. In all fairness, if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be doing what I do and I will be forever grateful to him for encouraging me to do spank professionally. Thank you for the last three years, JD Webb, it has been a pleasure. 😊
As for business, I will be traveling to Portland, OR in December and have just added Paris, FR and London, ENG to my calendar next year. I am very excited about the international travel and can’t wait to share my brand of discipline across the pond. If you would like to book a session with me please contact me at email@example.com for availability.
I wish all of you a fun and safe October. Happy Halloween!
September 25, 2017
Well it has been almost a month since my last blog entry so I thought I would write a brief update on what has been going on in Positively Spanking land. I have been on the road a lot this month, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Houston, Biloxi and Arlington/Dallas area. I had quite a blast in Las Vegas and met so many wonderful people in the flesh that had been only online friends and had the opportunity to connect with old friends and acquaintances that I have met at other parties. It is always fun to reconnect, so thank you to everyone whose path I crossed, you all made the weekend special! BradD took me out to a nice steak dinner and we had wonderful, interesting conversation… some spanky, some vanilla. Cat31199 was such a sweetheart and pleasure to meet, we had a wine and steak dinner that was awesome too. *Miss Rachel loves steak and red wine ;). I know that everyone I met I will remain friends with and I hope to see them all again soon. Both men I mentioned here were complete gentleman and gained my utmost respect, but so was every other client I saw in Las Vegas. Everyone was a pleasure and unique in their own way.
As for the girls, I was really looking forward to meeting @SassyXOLassy and she did not disappoint. I have been following her on twitter and we had exchanged some tweets before the party. She was so much fun to finally meet and I was excited that I had the opportunity to play with her and even more so when she let me spank her in a room full of people. She has a very nice bottom, I was super envious. I also let her spank me privately to see what she could do, and she was indescribably wonderful. If you are ever in the Seattle area be sure to book some time with her, you will be glad you did. She has a stingy hand and is such a delight to be around, her energy is contagious. I also had the pleasure of being caned by Strict Jane, ouch! But then again, I did ask for it. I really love her attitude and hope to get know her even better in the future.
Most of all, I was happy to share this time with JD Webb and experience all of the delights of this party with him. It was really like no other party I have been to before. We had some great time spanking girls together and alone time that was phenomenal. He also was caned by Alisha-W in a role play that was very realistic. I witnessed it and she is VERY SKILLED at school canings. Overall, the atmosphere at the party was laid back and I didn’t see much, if any, drama. Yay to Shadow Lane for throwing a fantastic chill party, I guarantee I will be back again! Thanks to Eve, Tony, Butch and all of the SL organizers.
Now for the not so great news…
Unfortunately, during the last half of the month I saw quite a few cancellations and no-shows which has made me have to restructure my travel procedures and cancel upcoming travel that has not had enough interest. This was unfortunate as I trusted all of the people that stood me up, all were repeat clients and perhaps thought I was gullible or naive. I don’t know about you, but when so many people are dying at the last minute it makes me stop and think. Either I have a ton of really unlucky clients or people trying to take advantage of me.
Let me be clear, deposits do not cover my expenses, I rely on the balance of a session when I am booking travel. When I come to your town you don’t cover hotel for me, my transportation to get there or anything else, you just have to show up. Doing that service FOR YOU, is a hefty expense on my end. Therefore, I am now requiring full prepayment and a minimum number of sessions for my travel dates to happen in the future. I hope that everyone can understand that a deposit does not generally cover my travel costs and when I am stood up for whatever reason, I end up losing money and the travel ends up not being worth my time. I don’t do a business of averages like some, if it isn’t worth it, I am not going. Period. Please make sure that you understand this new policy if you are visiting me outside of Austin. Also, if you don’t show for an appointment, please don’t try to re-book with me. You are already a liability in my eyes and not worth the trouble. However, if you pay the remainder of your session fee, you will be given another shot. Also, if you want a reference to see another disciplinarian and you have cancelled/no showed with me, PLEASE CONTACT ME FOR A REFERENCE! I will tell her or him exactly what they can expect.
Hopefully October will be back to normal for me, I wish you all the best and please keep an eye on your loved ones, something seems to be in the air. 😉
August 27, 2017
Welcome to the second installment of my blog. What is happening in my world, you may wonder? As I am starting to gear up to begin my pilgrimage to Shadow Lane in Las Vegas this week, Hurricane Harvey decided to descend upon the great state of Texas. This hurricane has caused quite a stir here in Austin but this Florida girl ain’t scared of no darned hurricane. While it may have gotten everyone in Texas in a tizzy, it isn’t going to stop me from speaking my mind. Fingers crossed that my flight won’t be grounded on Wednesday!
I thought I would bring up accountability today as I have had several sessions this week where the correlation between accountability and punishment have surfaced. I want to stress one basic thing to my fellow spankos, the only person you should to be accountable to is yourself. No matter the need for discipline, understand that nobody (not even professional disciplinarians) can hold you accountable for your actions unless you hold yourself accountable first. It can be wonderful to have someone (partner, friend, disciplinarian) with which you can share all of your deepest darkest dreams, desires, and downfalls. However, true change comes from within ourselves and we must embrace that concept first. The thought that others can hold us accountable for our actions is nonsensical in my opinion. Yes, others may help us realign and help us refocus our priorities but if you are looking to cease a behavior, call yourself out on your own bullshit first.
I will step down from my soapbox and finish my blog with something that is close to my heart, my final segment of my interview with my spanking partner, JD Webb. If you are attending the party and would like to share your thoughts and experiences with me that I can use in a future blog please make sure you let me know. The life long learner in me wants to explore other people’s journey to attempt to find a better understanding of myself and other spankos. So please, speak up if you would like, you will be heard. 🙂
JD Webb Interview Part II
In our first segment, you mentioned how you had no context of sexuality when you first became aware of your desire/need to spank and be spanked. You also mention how later in life you were able to merge that in to sexual fantasies and most of your sex involves spanking in one way or another. Do you think that making it into a sexual component was essential for you to find others that like to spank as well? Was that the only way you thought it made sense? Looking back, do you think it was just the natural evolution of a spanko?
I’m sure it was just the natural evolution. I was never able to sit and consider this fetish, mostly because it was so weird to me and I didn’t really want to acknowledge it even existing. It’s funny to think of sexual thing existing prior to any awareness of sexuality but I think that’s why it was all so confusing. I bet many, many spankos feel the same way about their early memories.
I ask this because I have had several clients that no longer can have sex or even want to, but spanking is still important in their lives. They don’t need sex but they need spanking, either giving or receiving or both. Do you identify with this? If sex was no longer a part of your life, do think the need for spanking would evaporate? Do you see yourself being spanked and caned/spanking others well into your golden years?
I’ve joked with you in person about how I always wanted to grow up to be a dirty old man. I think that’s a spanking-related observation as much as a vanilla-sex one. So yes, I do imagine that’s I’ll always have this need. After all, if it existed before I was aware of sex, shouldn’t it live on if my sexual appetite disappears? I imagine so.
Which type of spanking do you prefer the most? Do you like no nonsense punishment type spanking, role play, or funishment style? For you as a spanker and as a spankee?
This may be a cop-out answer but I like all of it. I think it depends a lot on who I’m playing with, too. For example, I can lose myself when I’m over your lap, really give into it and trust you to give me what I need. Likewise, when you really need a spanking I can do that for you, because we’ve done so much together, because we know each other so well, and because we truly care so much about each other.
But there’s so much fun to be had, too, meeting new people at parties and spanking a brand new bottom, or climbing over the lap of a new top.
If I had to pick one for the top of my list I think it’d be role play. There are about nine million scenarios to go through, and one can really examine certain aspects of the spanking fetish with role play, hone in on a particular element. If you want to try exhibitionism you could get spanked in front of a “class” of other people. Or if you want to be scolded, taken back to your youth, all of these can be wonderfully exciting in a role play.
I have found that, when you are in control, receiving a spanking is stress relieving for me as your partner. It is freeing for me to be able to let myself let go of control and let you decide what you think I need. How do you feel when you are spanked? When you are the spanker?
Being a spanker is fun, but it’s also a huge responsibility precisely because someone is trusting you in an emotionally and physically vulnerable situation. As you know, my own tolerance varies from time to time and you’re able to pick up on that, vary what you do and how you do it accordingly. That allows me to sink into the experience and let go, give up every piece of control. It’s such a freeing feeling.
We have known each other over three years and have been spanking each other almost that entire time. Even though you spank others on occasion and are spanked by other tops at parties, what do you like about our time together v. time you have played with others?
The big difference is precisely what you point out. I’ve never had a relationship like this, where someone knows exactly what I need, how I need. Where someone is one hundred percent understanding and utterly nonjudgmental. And, most importantly, where someone has taken the time to really know me. Honestly, I always thought I’d go through life having the occasional play time, maybe paying for a professional to get my needs met. I never dreamed I’d find someone who would truly get this part of me. So, what I’m saying is, while I love playing at parties there’s not really a real comparison to be had.
You stated in our previous segment that your girlfriends in your teens and twenties had mostly negative reactions when you would bring up spanking. The “why would you want to hurt me?” reaction was very similar to the one that I had with you when we first met. Being a kinky person but not necessarily identifying as a spanko at that time, I was open to explore. Thankfully we did and came to find out that I had this need as well. Do you think that you have honed your approach to asking if others are into it as you have matured?
Yes, I think so. I am constantly wondering if those around me a secret spankos because as you know from being in the community, we are everyone and everywhere. I will often drop the word “spanking” into conversation, in a way that makes sense, of course, and usually in a jokey way, to see if I get any positive feedback. I suppose I’m a little bolder about it than I used to be, but I’m also more respectful. If someone shows no interest or doesn’t respond I just leave it alone. If I remember correctly, and I do, you responded quite well when the subject came up. 🙂
I feel that our sessions together are so wonderful because we know each other so well and trust each other. Do you think that as a spanko, finding meaningful relationships with others that understand you are as important at this stage in your life? Do you think if it was all light play it would be any less fulfilling?
For sure. I think it’s important for spankos to establish those meaningful relationships at any time in their lives. I would love to have met you decades ago for this, absolutely. And I know for a fact that it’s better than light play because before I met you, that’s pretty much what I had. Sure, it was fun and maybe staved off some part of my need but is nothing like what I have now in you. There’s no real comparison.
How many professionals have you sessioned with through the years? You encouraged me to go pro, why did you think I should? What do you think my best quality is as a top?
I’ve never hired anyone, but I certainly thought about it plenty! I’ve played with a few who are professionals but only at parties.
I encouraged you for several reasons. One, you are a talented and understanding spanker. By that I mean you are “mechanically,” in that you know what to do and how to do it. But you are also a very empathetic person. You read people well and you have a desire to help people. Combine those elements and you have the complete spanker, right?
In a more practical sense, there’s also a dearth of pros in this area, so there’s a natural vacuum for your talents to fill.
Lastly, at Shadow Lane this year, if we were to meet the girl that you went to the first Shadow Lane with back in 1994 do you think you would say something to her? Maybe spank her? We already know you are hoping to see Sandy 😉
You know, I would love to go over Sandy’s lap, but I have no idea if she’s still in the scene. Maybe someone out there reading this might know? But the girl I went with, no, I don’t feel like that’s an open issue for me. I’d definitely chat with her, maybe play, but I don’t have any sense that I have unfinished business, so to speak, with her. Plus, I plan to be busy roasting your bottom!
August 19, 2017
Hello and welcome to Miss Rachel’s blog! I am so excited to be able to share more of my thoughts and feelings on a more personal level.
Shadow Lane is right around the corner and in anticipation of the party, what better way to celebrate than to interview a lifelong spanko? What better life long spanko to interview than my spanking partner? So, I decided that my first entry should be an interview with JD Webb, my glorious partner. He knows me better than anyone and he GETS it! He is a mainstream mystery writer and sometimes kink author. He is fascinating to me and his story may be similar to yours. This is the first segment of my interview, I hope you enjoy it.
First things first, you consider yourself a spanko, correct? Do you consider it a defining part of who you are? Like sexuality or gender identity? Do you prefer to be the spanker or spankee? Do you spank men and women? Does size and shape matter?
Correct, I’m a tried and true spanko, have been all my life (oh, that’s the next question… I’ll hold off on that one…!). Yes, it is a defining part of who I am, absolutely. Jillian Keenan has argued that being kinky is an orientation and I agree, it’s integral to my sexuality. It is my sexuality.
I am a switch. It took me a long time to admit that to myself and others, but I am a true switch. At this point, people usually give a percentage of spanker/spankee but for me it varies, over long periods and short periods. For example, I was a top only for years and years. Then when I started trusting that other side of myself, I went all in for a while. Now I swing merrily to and fro, enjoying both equally.
I spank, and get spanked by, women only. I suppose in theory I could imagine a scenario where that changes but in practice… I’m as straight as an arrow. A very kinky arrow. As for size and shape, I do have preferences for those I date but when it comes to playing, I don’t care in the least.
We have had the discussion about spanking and nature v. nurture. Some spankos were spanked as a child and others weren’t. I know we both seemed to agree that everyone’s journey is different and there are no absolutes in cause or desire for fetishes. But let’s get some background on your upbringing. Were you spanked as a child? What is your earliest memory of spanking? How old were you? Was it an otk spanking or something else?
I was not spanked as a kid, ever, no. That said…. I went to boarding schools in England right before corporal punishment was outlawed. So I heard, and even saw, a fair few “whackings” and I’ll be honest, they terrified me! I would have done anything in the world to avoid that fate, and in fact did. I pulled at least one prank that resulted in the cane coming out, but not for me!! Yeah, I felt guilty for a long time over that!
I remember very clearly the feeling of being around it. Utter fascination and terror in equal measure and I often wondered what it would be like to get the cane or slipper. I still wonder, of course, and in a way I regret not taking my medicine back then so I would know now. Easy to say that from the distance of a few decades, of course, because like I said before, the fear of it out-weighed any curiosity!
As for my earliest memories, I’m a cliché when it comes to spankos. Looking up words in the dictionary, finding it in books, all that sort of thing. I never gave my first spanking until I was in my twenties, but I blame Al Gore for that. He didn’t invent the internet quickly enough. Now I’m trying to make up for lost time…
How did you feel at the time when you realized you had this urge? Did you feel alone or odd that you wanted to spank? Did you think if you tried it once it would scratch the itch, or did you know that it would always be something significant in your life?
I felt odd. And yes, alone. I didn’t want anyone to know and, frankly, I didn’t know what it was myself. I was aware of this… oddity… before I was aware of sexuality so I had no context for it. What an odd fascination to have, with no place to put it. As I got older it was fodder for my sexual fantasies, of course, and all my fantasies had that element. Vanilla sex wasn’t for me. Not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, of course, but in my imagination it’s all spanking, all the time.
When was the first time you decided to act on your curiosity? How old were you, who did you spank/try to spank? How was it received?
I tried bringing it up with girlfriends in my teens and early twenties. Dropping hints. But no one bit and the only feedback I got back was totally negative. “Why would you want to hurt me?” kind of thing. I didn’t have the confidence or experience to charm or seduce someone into trying it so I would always drop the subject and walk away feeling like a horrible, twisted person.
I know you have been to some of the big parties (Shadow Lane, TASSP, LSSP) but what made you decide to venture out to your first one? How did that go for you? Has your participation waxed or waned as you have grown older?
I was 25 years old and committed to going to the 1994 Shadow Lane party. I had corresponded with a young lady from New York and we’d agreed to meet there. Honestly, I was in the prime of my life—fit, strong, handsome as I’d ever be. And a wallflower. I didn’t know how to get into the suite parties and my NYC friend spent the weekend playing and having a blast, while I read by the pool and stood around feeling awkward.
I do remember a well known spanko called Sandy, a beautiful African American woman, she came up and asked if I liked to be spanked. I said no. she gave me a big smile and said, “Let me know if you change your mind.” That was before I was secure enough to admit I liked it, and hey, Sandy! I’ve changed my mind!
As I’ve gotten older I’ve found myself more comfortable with who I am, what I like. So while I’m still a little reticent to ask people to play, I do it. And I don’t mind spanking or being spanked in public play rooms.
I do wish I had my 1994 body, though, I’ll tell ya that much…!
Have you felt shame associated with your spanking urges? If so, how have you dealt with that? As a child? As a teen? As an adult?
Heavens yes. All my life, today still I’d bet. My usual response is to try and hide it, to lie when challenged, and to bury everything deep. It’s only very very recently that I’ve tried to be more open, more honest, and trust people around me not to laugh or judge. That’s not easy after 50 years of hiding it, but I’m trying.
Have you found that you have to be secretive about your needs and desires to spank because you don’t think others would understand?
Oh yes, for sure. Even those close to me who try, don’t get it. And it’s not just about spanking others it’s about being around them. Being with my tribe, so to speak. I mean, think about it—for years I thought this kink made me a freak, a weirdo. Then I discovered other people were into it, but I worried they weren’t normal either (whatever that is). So for decades I’ve wanted to meet other spankos, as a kind of reassurance that yes, normal people can be into this. I don’t have to play with them, but I do have to know they exist, I do have to be around them from time to time.
Did you feel like your other family members (siblings and parents) may have had this fetish as well? Have you ever discussed it with them? If not, would you ever?
No, never ever ever! Cringe.
As a mainstream writer with a vanilla career, do you talk about spanking with your vanilla peers or only those that you know are in the lifestyle? If so, how do you start that conversation? What has been reaction from vanillas that you have told?
Interesting question. For one thing, I’ve worked a touch of spanking into most of my novels. Just a little bit, nothing to give myself away. And not just in my writing life, I do occasionally share my secret with people I trust. Vanilla people, that is. There have been only a handful and they’ve been curious and nonjudgmental, which is amazing. I have some nice friends. 🙂
I do know a couple of kinky mainstream authors, too, and have my suspicions about others. But this is a private thing, so I’m very careful not to overstep boundaries.
Do you have children? Do you believe in spanking children?
I do have kids and no, emphatically. Spanking is an adult activity, and should only ever be between consenting adults. No exceptions. Ever.
What is the future of spanking for JD Webb? Do you think you have found a homeostasis? Will you continue to evolve?
I hope so. There are things I want to do, people I want to meet and play with. There are physical and mental aspects I want to explore. I’d like to write a spanking novel, too, and there’s no reason I shouldn’t, apart from lack of time maybe. After so many years of repression I think it’s inevitable that even now I continue to evolve and explore. And that’s a nice thought for me.
What would be a dream spanking scenario look like for you?
I rent a chateau in France. You’re my co-hostess. We invite twenty spankos for a week, flying them over in private planes. We have a spanko chef on staff who prepares informal breakfasts and lunches, and a formal, black-tie dinner every evening. And every evening, all our names go in a glass bowl, with one being taken out. That person receives six strokes of the cane in the dining room, everyone watching. (Hmm, I guess that means everyone there is sub or switch, but we can work on the details later…) There’s a swimming pool and clothes are optional. It’s not an orgy, but it’s a festival of spanking.
One week at a French chateau, with great food, fine wine, and everyone spanked silly.
Are you in?
Boy, am I ever! ~Miss Rachel 🙂
Miss Rachel and JD Webb will be available for limited co-topping sessions at Shadow Lane. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for further information.
You can follow JD Webb on Twitter @AuthorJDWebb